<body> *---------briangel.
PROFILE..

*brian 'Koelsch' ho*
*twenty four*
*brownie's owner*


INTERESTS..

*audio and music*
*making pictures with a dream*

CHATTERBOX..


LINKS..

kate
sockling
xiaxue
mel
melvin
jolene
ben
jason
ahgong hippo
slacker
weiliang

ARCHIVES..

December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
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April 2006
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November 2009

Sunday, April 30, 2006

brian's fund.

just home after a long long day of boredom. my body just screwed up. went to crc in the afternoon to watch my team play and i was playing a lil' and coaching joy to play better in poolday and iceworld. had a great breakfast anyway! the cutlet rice rocks!

and the joke of the day... =\ i better not say it here just incase someone reads... you know i don't mean it rightttt...

and after buying tickets at around 6+ we walked to egames there and back to the new cathay and then to bugis walk walk abit and rotting there for quite some time then took a train to somerset and walk back to PS. i know i know. we were that bored!

oh yars casey msged me ask me go expo but i was busy at crc in the afternoon =\. oh well had some nice chats with joy but then again.... i think sometimes i really ask too much... hais sorry!

i really cut short this whole entry due to some unpleasent moments. btw we were talking about how guys actually pick her up from her place and driving her out for supper and everything! like WTF and mel just told me that someone bought her a canon 350D.

THIS IS FUCKING HELL UNFAIR OKAY!!! what bout guys must have backbones and support the girls. and girls are to be supported?! LIKE WTF?! and a change of sex... hahahahaha.

no one is really contributing to brian's fund anymore hais. it's very hard for me to save when i'm severely underpaid. fucking no mood. pms maybe. but just upset. don't ask me why. i don't know how to tell you but there's no reason behind it.

-gone to bath and cs abit. pretty long day tml.

brownie typed this at 2:21 AM
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Saturday, April 29, 2006

i'm single and very very available

yes you're reading it right. imagine being so free these few days man. nothing to do. wake up on comp, go cycling, go out with cs ppls once in awhile. hmmm.

but i'm going crc tml. and sunday moving house for my auntie and at night going night safari. monday rest awhile and at night going to camp at changi and take sunrise with some of the CS ppls. and wednesday to friday... i'm workingggg......

yeah i dread it but what to do man. gees. my whole family is in the logistic business =( anyway i was talking to jasmin who's one of my junoir in secondary school and she was asking me something like...

"er what's the name of this emoticon?"

and it was like a brown brown monster with the mouth opening up one. like seriously. how the fuck i know man! gees =.= anyway she also told me she broke up with james like last yr liao hahaha so long ago news man gees.

lol i'm cooking dinner right now at 1am! defrosting my FAVOURITE minced pork haha. okok shall update another time. anyway went violin classes with pig today and she's so crazy over her snicker bars!

ITS FATTENNNINGGGGGG!!!!!

brownie typed this at 12:04 AM
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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

you're beautiful... she was beautiful...

A parody of James Blunt's "Beautiful"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0UT2MpdWnc

"Beautiful"
By Kevin Sage

This is freakin' brilliant—whoops! I started too early. Just keep going? Ok.

This is freakin' brilliant.
The embarrassment I endure
I thought I saw an angel
I was completely sure
She smiled at me on the subway
Turned out she was a man
I didn't know until I tried to sleep with her
After 8 black and tans

But she was beautiful, She was beautiful
She was beautiful, I swear
When I saw her face, it was in a crowded place
And I didn't see the bump right here
I shouldn't've drank so much beer.

Yeah, she had one lazy eye
But I couldn't tell in that light.
You should have seen the look on my face
When we got home that night.
And I said, "What the----oh my! Can we turn off the lights?"
But she just took off her clothes and my lust turned to fright.

But she was beautiful, She was beautiful
She was beautiful, I swear
When I saw her face, it was in a crowded place
And I didn't see the bulge right here.
Why did I drink so much beer?

No no no no no,
No no no no no no,
No no no no no no!

But she was beautiful, I promise she was beautiful
You gotta believe me she was beautiful, I swear.
I bet a flock of angels had smiles on their faces
As they watched me almost hook up with her—him—her—him—oh, gosh.
But it's time to face the truth
I got drunk and made out with a dude.


how innovative some ppls can get over a song. being emo at this point of time ain't that good after all. being at home the whole day with no clubsnap to surf is freaking driving me nuts and the weather is sooo crappy till that i cannot go cycling. hmmm

anyway suppose to go visit my grandmother one but my mum suddenly met my dad on the way then they went alone WITHOUT ME. after i waited so long for them zzz. and had to wait and wait and wait till i go have some crappy dinner once again.

anyway my mum told me i should go visit my grandmother more often as the doctor said her condition is worsening. hais. just hope everything is still optismistic.

anyway i really need some attention. i hate to admit that casey is usually right about me dammit! hais. just one msg from you can? one whole day. no call no msg no nothing. are you really that busy? i know we've been thru this but i just need some love as well okay =(((

anyway thanks wenling.

brownie typed this at 11:49 PM
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changi boardwalk & punggol beach!

ohh sunday was changi boardwalk and very last minute. met longkangman and s11|oop before hand for some snacks. hmmm then proceeded to the mrt there and...

wow! a bunch of photographers there. and can see all their tripods there. and more and more came and the number of photographers who went there was around 26? even met beetlejuice, illutrious, precious jas, eric_lee, drumma and klose too. quite alot of pros went with us haha. not to mention that we sat longkangman's bmw there and back =x






above are some of the edited pictures i took. just in the process of learning how to photoshop well. hmmm. anyway yesterday was rotting at home and went to bugis there for my dad's friend wake. a man whom i've known for a long time and his kids were like 6yrs old or something when i knew them but they're like 15 or 16 now. hais.

just came back from punggol beach with jimmy and sherman not long ago. reached home around 9pm actually =x. met sherman at TP and took a cab there and waited for jimmy there and took bus number 82 till we reached the end. hahaha and was drizzling and saw 2 dogs on the beach and took some pics of it. rather cute man.




okay la here are some of my works that i also post up to clubsnap.org for critiques. still learning the functions of a pns ands its really very limited. i don't even bother to set the white balance and the AF really quite crappy. cant focus at tele and soft at the end.

ARGHH!

need a good cam =(

brownie typed this at 12:02 AM
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Sunday, April 23, 2006

i love my pig =)

first agenda of my topic...

after having a <3 to <3 talk yesterday night, we really did sort out our differences and problems. and starting all anew.

hmmmm friday night met jevan for dinner and went to liquid room. and we waited rather long for a cab and crossing the road twice haha. finally reached there and waited a lil' while for it to open and the place was damn cold as usual =p. and ordered one shot of vodka redbull and later 1 jug of bourbon coke and another jug of vodka redbull. and the music was really great.

because it was ben spinning what .... dohs!

after that it really became really packed and some girl offered me a ciggie lol. but the scary thing is that i see jevan like super high and don't even know where he is and everything. hahaha and i think he did ATTEMPT to dance with someone. hahaha.

he was like super high at that point of time. it was around 2am++. and i was on the dancefloor slacking a lil just besides the dj console there. hmmm =p. got a video of jevan being drunk as well hahaha.

anyway after that reached my house, he just slept on my sofa and i gotta move him to my room and let him slp there. and i slept at 5+ after talking to nicole for awhile and vomitting out my kfc dinner as well haha and slept about 3hrs before i head down to spca. the orientation was okay. only that that was 17 girls and only 3 guys =.=!!! but the cats were very nice and furry. haha took quite a few pics but all out of focus hais. after that i was talking to raptor84 aka nick who was one of the photographer volunteer with spca. he's always there taking photos of dogs.

and went to bedok for lunch and after that go home charge my hp batt and cam batt then headed down to paris ris and take some pics with sherman eugene and another guy =x. shit man i forgot his name. after that headed to ljs to talk talk talk and headed home...

not really in the mood to blog right now...



hmmm off track awhile... just heard from my mum that one of my dad's good friend passed away just a few hours ago... he's very close with my dad and he's one of the few that see me grow up one. hmmm hais ... god bless his soul

brownie typed this at 12:20 PM
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Friday, April 21, 2006

lie lies and more fucking LIES.

yes this is it. the end of it.

with reference to ryjm's blog, i realised lies is just your everyday life. i believe so anyway. that's what i wanna think. or rather the impression that you give me. your tigers are safe with me anyway. this has nothing to do with my msn display picture *emos*

i just read kelly's blog and she just came outta the hospital, and the bf is rumoured to be dating some other girls? LOL?! fucking bastard ain't it. just recently saw this CD cover of a person with two heads like combined and PS to have those kinda blurry effects. point is... are you so fucking sure that you won't cheat on anyone in your life?

how would you actually know that you didn't do it incidentally? and try to cover it up with all the things you do. some just withhold the facts and bullshit man. if i were to say that i never cheated or lied in my life, i would be lying again. but i'm not lying. i do admit that cheating is a part and parcel of life but i refrain myself from doing it. i don't see a point keeping secrets unless it's about others and will affect their general lives. if not, no. i don't keep much secrets.

am i classified under the "bao tou kia"? answer i shall say for myself, i don't think so i think. =) i'm being very nice and friendly here. i don't give a fuck whether you say i'm emo or whatever shit. sometimes you just can't understand one single term called "PRIVACY" fucktardz. i did realise that alot of ppls trust me with their deepest secrets and love talking to me about their only problem and i'm the only one that knows, so to speak.

oh yeah. luvina said her english was a1. and her msn nick was like ...

"guys with dimples give me sex appeal."

and i corrected her and said...

"guys with dimples are sexually appealing."

and she just shoot me back and said her english is top in class. like why the fuck i care whether your english is top? who seriously gives a fucking shit.

photography comes first, biking second and gaming is third.


i just realised i'm very crazy over biking nowadays and asked yanlong what bike to get as well. maybe the same as him also. single speed bikes for road. not sure whther its suitable but just get more infos and everything first. and i'll be going clubbing at liquid room with jevan. yes its jevan =.=! and ben is spinning there again. so hopefully can go there chill out abit. quite stressful nowadays.

css today? 16-1 to us, against vE. nuff' said about that. doesn't matter to me. being respected and known as a good css player but my 1.6 totally cmi in my own world. i have expectations of myself in everyway. i know whats my limit and i do push my own limits now and then. but...

hmmmmmm....

you you you. what can i say? i'm being ignored due to you being busy i suppose? or is there another reason behind it? sorry i really can't read in between the lines one. and i'll be enlisting soon so take care.

brownie typed this at 3:59 AM
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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

photographing events.

just to kick start this blog again. here comes the photos.


there're quite alot more pictures of her but it's all totally headshot pictures because of those stupid "official photographers" rushing up on stage and blocking everyones' view. haha but i only got one good shot of her. the rest not really good zoom and everything.

but going for this event allowed me to make more new friends. some like sherman and jimmy. jimmy is a army regular and owns a 20D with 28-105 L lens.

ITS A L LENS LEH!

nevermind most of you won't know whats that anyway hahah. but his pictures and equipments are good. chatted at the foodcourt for quite some time sharing the pictures and everything. and hahaha once we reached home and online, we were talking bout how come jimmy never take pictures of xmm and i stated that they were like 2 JC girls facing him when we were at the foodcourt.

hahaha the funniest part was that during our msn conversation, we said "NO XXX HERE LA" but in the end, all the words and those moving nude pictures all come out. a good laugh we had. crazy fun and chatted till about 5am then headed to bed.

oh yeah spotted the ladder gang on sunday when i met delun to go buy some small speaker and collect the memory card from him and met carol to pass her. she got this new "boyfriend" again and bought her a new nokia 6280 if i'm not wrong haha. then cycled to east coast and chill out there when it was raining and the dinner at cabana was paid by the guy as well =p.

and they walked home from east coast to my house i think. so ROMANTIC man but stupidly crazy. oh well now trying to get wenling to go out for a tfcd with us. me jimmy and sherman but wenling is quite reluntunt. oh to mention about this, i sent a picture of this 3 models i took at wcg last yr and jimmy actually cropped the girl out and put on his msn! OMFG. heres the pic anyway.


the girl on the left, janice i think. i know because alvin aka deathnote the pilot told me that he knew her. then she's like 17 this yr or something. and the thing is that!!!! jimmy cropped out her picture and put on his msn! dammit. LOL

rainy weather, planned to go cycling today and cut hair but weather always spoils it all =( hais. shall go talk to everyone in my msn right now. see ya.

brownie typed this at 4:10 PM
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Friday, April 14, 2006

3 seconds and $8.90

that's it man! for me to know and you to find out?

*hugs hugs dearie*

and please. i'm not attached alright. i'm going to NS soon! hahahaha. seriously looking foward to it but gonna miss quite alot ppls... and brownie.

lets see. the ah bengs and the ahlians. now there's alot of news on how ahbengs in singapore fight over the slightest problem like a stare or a bump into one another. yes it's that pathetic and they gotta settle the fight outside 1v1 or in a bunch of idiots. yeah and taiwan's gangsters are fighting over money, territory and the police. singapore ppls fight over a STARE. hais

and i'm a good boy! whenever i'm out with her, i would put on my BESTIE behaviour but sometimes i really can't stand ppls who wanna act xia lan with me LOL. can't stand it man really. anyway cs is finishing soon also. nothing much about cs nowadays.

and this is to rachel chow jia hui =\ . don't say i never blog hor. since u so nice call me blog. i do. but i'm rather busy with surfing clubsnap. totally crazy over my cameras stuffs lol. and i wanna do two things before i go NS!

go to the zoo and iceskating! anyone wanna go with me? =( yea yea. bleahs. i'm so totally bored right now. getting sleepy soon.

OH YA! i'm going SPCA next week on sat or sunday for their orientation then and be volunteer whahaha. i'm so damn free but transport fee so expensive. hahaha. okay la i'm tired!

brownie typed this at 3:25 AM
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Friday, April 07, 2006

!

it's sad how you dont ever ever mention me anymore =(
or even talk to me.

your always mentioning some other girl.
and ANOTHER R.


=|


*goes away*

brownie typed this at 4:52 PM
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tekong lor =\

shall be heading to tekong for full time NS on 3rd june. i'm pretty eager to get in as i'm freaking bored right now. i don't think the training would be bothering me that much though i rather lazy most of the time. but i love running around and doing obstacle courses though its tiring la =p.

anyway thats not the main point. winning competition and winning matches isn't important to me anymore. though i might take pride in the game i'm playing. i always play to win and be the best that i can. being in the best css team in singapore. that's my pride and ego.

and for you to know...

i might be suffering from depression.

the only thing is that you made a difference to my life. u lit up my life when it was so pitch dark. lawan was cute. the time i hug you for the very first time. all the very special moments. it's just fading away. it's not about you. you're fine. you're perfectly fine alright? it's never any of your fault. it's just mine.

not taking responsibilty. not thinking about how u feel as a girl. being so insensitive at times when you say theres nothing wrong when there is. sometimes i just can't guess. hais. and who was the one that said i would be a lousy bf? maybe you're right after all lol.

i've been treated like shit. being dumped and used. wearing a green hat. taking all the humiliation. taking all the insults and protecting her for what? its just all in the past now and its bullshit. she two-timed me? awww that's very sad to hear now. now there're just ppls talking about me being the idiot ex bf that i am.

sucidal that i am? hahaha there's this point of time where i love looking outta my window. and thinking of where i was going to go next after i passed on. and after the passing of my younger cousin, i wrote a will just in case something went wrong. a freak accident or something. in those turmoil days. NONE was there for me actually. some went missings. some whom i wanted to talk to just wasn't the right one to talk to.

casey doesn't even know this. i think the only one that knows about this was angel. and maybe some others haha. i don't know. now the feeling is just coming back. the only reason why i'm still typing this is because i always put others in front of me than myself. i care more for others than myself. maybe thats one reason.

it's hard to put down in words what i've been through. you know what happnened to me and my ex right? know those days? it's just not the sickness. it's the brutal attack and the pain and the scolding and pain i had in my head and heart. brownie was always there for me. hahaha. browniel... *looks at brownie now and then* come to think of it. brownie aint very handsome anymore =\. hais.

is brownie important? yes he is. but he's still a stuffed bear after all. he can't talk to me and everything but you can. and you're ignoring me. you need time to think this over. okay i shall. death comes to all. sooner or later. be prepared is better than not preparing.

and if one day i'm not online for 3 days in a row without any prior notice. something must have happened to me. and rachel was pretty concerned for me during that time. err rachel? it's rachel chow jia hui actually. complicated girl she is also. hahaha.

nonetheless. just to end this off. i love you.

brownie typed this at 12:26 AM
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